After Donald J. Trump won re-election in 2020, he set out to implement his agreement with the Taliban to withdraw all U.S. forces from Afghanistan by May 1st. Never a fan of long meetings or intelligence summaries that required many minutes to read (“many” defined by his top aides as “more than three”), President Trump discussed a number of options with his team. They included:

— The President appearing unannounced at the Hamid Karzai International Airport in Kabul and holding up a Bible as the evacuation of U.S. citizens and some Afghans began. More than one aide suggested if this was the plan they went with then the Bible had to be carefully marked in some fashion so it was not held upside down.

— Asking Rudy Giuliani to suspend his fruitful probe of the dastardly deeds of Hunter Biden to go to Afghanistan to oversee the evacuation of Americans and some Afghans who had worked for allied forces. More than one aide suggested that no Afghans with really dark complexions be allowed on any departing flight, at least not one headed directly to the United States.

— Restoring Michael Flynn to active military duty and the general, after overseeing drone attacks on the homes of James Comey and Andrew McCabe, would travel to Moscow to ask his pal Vlad to supply both planes and personnel to help in the evacuation of Americans and those few Afghans who met the complexion test.

— Summoning Scott Atlas back to White House duty and letting him supervise medical screening at the gates to Hamid Karzai International Airport where he would have a chance to prove his theory about the proper way to obtain what was now being called “horde immunity.”

— Sending Congressman Jim Jordan and former Congressman Trey Gowdy to Afghanistan where they would board departing flights of mostly light-complected Afghans, believing that after these two American specimens roamed the aisles and talked to people a good number of would-be refugees would change their minds about wanting to live in the United States.

Regardless of which option was agreed on, President Trump would claim, accurately, that “the world has never seen anything like this before. Never, ever.”


Retired newsman, author of “Grandma Told Me Never to Believe Anything Grandpa Says” to be published by Covenant Books in 2019. It will be his third book.