MEMO TO NEW MEMBERS OF THE WAIT STAFF

As should be obvious to all of you now, Kathy’s Café is popular with the older crowd. Frankly, the much, much older crowd. You will make mistakes in serving these folks but that’s expected, you’re human. Well, most of you are.

Kathy asked that I mention that, in general, the new servers have been doing fine work. Let me just go over a few situations that are sure to arise and how to handle them in the Kathy Café way.

Never, ever, ever ask “Do you have any questions?” Always, always make sure you say “Do you have any questions about the menu?” If you just ask “do you have any questions,” one wisenheimer will ask something along the lines of “Yes, do you know how I can get Amazon Prime on my television set?”

You are not being paid to sigh or to roll your eyes. Do not sigh, do not roll your eyes, do not cuss silently or audibly, when one of our precious Seniors asks you to repeat, for the fifth time, the day’s Specials.

When the lady with the hearing aid that keeps falling out of her left ear — her name is Doris — asks if you can put a sunnyside up egg on top of her bowl of corn flakes, all you have to say is, “Why of course, Dearie.” Trust us. When her corn flakes come out, she will have forgotten all about ordering the egg.

And finally, the most important reminder of all: Do not ever, ever ask a table packed with old folks, who’ve had 20 minutes to look at the menu, “Do you need more time?” That is incredibly rude. They may have only three more years left or three months or even three days. They do not need to be reminded of this.

Always be precise. “Are you ladies and gentlemen ready to order?” should do the trick.

Kathy thanks you for your dedication and your efforts.

And by the way, we’re looking for volunteers to work Thanksgiving Day. The time and a half pay plus the fact that sweet old Doris is never here that day should be an incentive for some of you.
— Richie

(Posted October 25, 2022)

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Larry McCoy

Retired newsman, author of “Grandma Told Me to Never Believe Anything Grandpa Says” published by Covenant Books. It’s his third book. He’s yet to be sued.